" (We need to) calm the nervous system, and establish safety in the body." with Patti Ibanez, on Inner Child work, Integrated Trauma Work, and Unconditional Self-love.

[00:00:00]

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Cool. Uh, okay. Hello everyone. Welcome back to The Intersection Podcast. And today is the last day of September and I always have this kind of cliche, like that Green Day song. It says, wake Me Up, uh, when September ends. It's so weird. I don't know why this song always pops in my head when it's the end of September, that's not important today.

It's so far very nice, important in Tmy Day and I am very excited to see my friend again 'cause we just saw each other over the weekend. Um, her name is Patty, uh, Ibanez. And uh, we just shared a meal in, uh, Southeast Portland. And today we get to chat with each other again. And, uh, welcome Patty.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Thank you. Thank you.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: introduce yourself.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:01:00] Yeah, thanks so much for having me on. My name is Patty Ibanez. I am an integrative trauma practitioner and a life coach. And yeah, I live in Portland. I've been here for 10 years. I've lived in some other major cities like la, New York, Boston. I'm originally from Spain, so, um, originally, born in, born in Madrid, moved to New York.

So, um, so yeah, Portland life is quite different for me actually. It's, it's, uh, it's almost like living in a village by comparison.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Okay. It's the first time I heard that.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's like a little village, but, uh, it, it's, it's funny because when I first moved here, it was really hard on me. Um, I was like, where's the bustling city life? And, and now I really love it. I really love it. It's so good [00:02:00] for, uh, our nervous systems. It's so good for just community. It's so good for all the things that, that we're kind of have been taught is not the way of life is kind of like what is naturally here.

And so, uh, I really, not only ACCC have accepted it, but I love it now.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: That's awesome. And you mentioned you have been in Portland for like 10 years now. Right. And you know, around the time 2015, I think that's when I started to really see like a lot of like major changes happening in the city. And of course it had already been happening before I moved here. Um, but I feel like over the years seeing lots of changes in the city, really it, it is interesting and I do agree Portland is not. A gigantic city, and it's [00:03:00] so close to nature and it feels nice to be here.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, I mean the, you know what, I also think that this city has taken into account that you don't need to use transportation. So each little neighborhood has its own hub. It has its own grocery store, library, cafe or multiple, multiple cafes. And so you, uh, you really can actually stay. Within walking distance and have a rich life, you know?

And, and that's the part that I really have enjoyed. And it's funny because I almost had to fight my body. 'cause it was, it was so used to the hustle and bustle and, you know, burnout culture a little bit, well, not even a little bit, a lot bit that, um, that being here was like, okay, no, let's just breathe and yeah, let's just leisurely walk around the neighborhood.

Yeah,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: How old were you when you moved to New York City?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I was seven.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Seven. [00:04:00] Wow.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: was seven. So I really remember, I really remember coming to the states and feeling, uh, quite deflated actually. To

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: honest, because my life in Spain, up until that point, was very community centered. I went to a really precious school where my mom taught and everybody ate lunch at the same time.

That was, you know, prepared by cooks in the kitchen and, and, um, it just felt like there were always people looking out for you. And Spain in as a culture really loves children. And, and so I, I always kind of felt like wherever I went, people were looking out for me or giving me love. And then we came to the States and I just remember we landed, we were in New York City, we were living in this, you know, temporary housing until my parents figured out where we were landing

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: just [00:05:00] feeling so isolated and, yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I mean, seven years old is quite young for a child to move from continent to another and this huge culture shift too. And I resonate with you. I remember, you know, growing up in China, um, I would actually walk myself to elementary school and it was very easy 'cause it's very neighborhood and everyone look out for each other.

Everyone recognize a child. Everyone will be like, are you good? Or things like that. And if, like now my cousin's children, they walk to school together. So you don't really need a lot of supervision. And versus in the US you know, there's a lot of like process, like school bus or parents dropping off, picking up, things like that.

I mean, it's good at the same time, I think it's like a huge culture difference. I also remember having like lunch at school and we would have nap [00:06:00] time.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Uh, and that was, I remember that, that kind of like we napped throughout our childhood, which I don't know if that's true in the us.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It definitely is not. I'm here to report that it's not, and by the way, that that childhood that you're describing sounds so charming and so beautiful. And you're right, there is, uh, when you come here, there's a lot more processes that kind of get in the way. The school bus, you know, just the systems that are in place here.

And of course, it's the way it's done to kind of keep things flowing and it makes sense and they can be so harsh on a little system. I remember just hating the school bus,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: you know? Um, yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's interesting even though it's young, um, we, we do digest things in a certain way at that age.

And a good part of my work too is [00:07:00] actually, uh, inner child healing.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm. Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And, um, and what that means is usually there might be certain points in your childhood, uh, where significant events occurred that affected you in a certain way that maybe changed the trajectory of your belief system or the way you functioned in the world.

And, um, so to be honest with you, 7-year-old me is somebody I've had to return to quite a bit because, uh, there was a drop that occurred. And, and the way that our little brains work, you know, is that especially if we're not explained something maybe, um, explicitly, we understand it in the way we can, we can understand it.

And, and it's often not correct. There's often a misunderstanding. So with inner child work, uh, what we're doing is we're making sure that, you know, as long as [00:08:00] we're,, in a good, strong nervous system, we become the, the parent, right?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: then we talk to our, our little one ourselves, and we explain what actually happened.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: know, so we clear up misunderstandings. And it's fascinating work because things can, you can almost see transformation in, in moments when, when like the little person realizes the what it really is, and then that she's held by, by the adult in you. And so, so that's, yeah, the 7-year-old, like I said, is somebody I return to quite a bit.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm. That's, I think, you know, I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong, my sense is that could be a bittersweet experience. 'cause seven year is, I don't know, it's such a formative, uh, period of time in one's life. [00:09:00] And I, I'm guessing for you, you remember yourself like. Pre seven years old and then after seven years old, somehow there's a line between, and you have to go back to that moment.

It's very fascinating. It's like you travel physically, you did that as a child, and now you travel back in time and revisit. So there's a lot of going back and forth.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I mean, this is the part, I mean, it's gonna, we're not gonna get around it. We're gonna have to at some point start talking about magic. But one of the things that I know to be true without a shadow of a doubt is that time is not linear. Right. And what's so fascinating is right now, in this moment, I could take you to, when you are five years old, every single age in your body is living there.

It's, it's in you at like a tree with the rings. Right?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: But also same, same exact way I do this with clients. [00:10:00] We can fast forward, we can go to that point right before you're about to die.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: You know, or we can go to that point when you're, you know, maybe not yet that old, but you know, you've passed that point where maybe you have regret.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And it's the mo It's a incredibly powerful practice and it's unbelievable how quick and easy and like accessible it is for people, even people who doubt this process.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I really think it has a lot to do with our resistance to, uh, uh, ancient wisdom. 'cause like in Western culture, we see time as a linear and as well as a commodity. So I think the idea of going back in time, like through body work or therapy or memory work or fast forward, kind of like envisioning, you know, how time can be experienced.

I think [00:11:00] that really challenges people. I can see that happen a lot.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It really does. And the, the interesting thing with that is that my whole life I feel like I've gotten that pushback and, you know, western science it and is put on such a pedestal and, you know,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: um, Western medicine. And really it's only because I am the age that I am. You know, I just turned 48 that I feel this confidence.

Uh, you know, I've seen what I've seen. I've lived what I've lived, I've experienced, um, eastern medicine, western medicine. Uh, I've been in a lot of different challenging situations in life. Um, and I, and now I stand confidently and I can say, of course there's a, you know, we need western medicine. It's, it's wonderful.

I'm not saying, Hey, let's toss it out. But there is such a wisdom, such a wisdom to, you know, eastern medicine, [00:12:00] uh, indigenous cultures, like just ancestral wisdom, things that we don't really, uh, legitimize in the society,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and there's so much healing potential.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I agree. Um, I do want to talk about healing and your practice as an integrated trauma practitioner. Um, you have a piece of art. On your wall behind you. Um, listeners cannot see, but I do see, you know, I'm trying to, uh, describe it is, it looks like a, um, a nature setting. Uh, I could be wrong. Um, there's a person doing some, um, somatic movements and I maybe do I see a bird there somewhere as well.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: yes.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And the dragonfly.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um, can you tell us like, what is this art about for you and

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: that connected to your practice?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:13:00] I love that you found that, you spotted that. Uh, it's, it's my favorite piece of artwork, and it's hilarious because I found it at a thrift store. Just leaning against the floor on the, you know, against the wall on the floor. And it just drew me in. And, um, yes, in this picture, when I look at it, it's so bright, it's so colorful.

It shows the balance of man living with nature and animals and, um, and, and just a balance to me, but, but also a, a vivaciousness, like an aliveness that occurs when you do so. And so, that is a big tenet of my practice. It's like being in nature, feeling the connection to nature, feeling the connection to animals and even the spirit realm, , [00:14:00] um, as an important facet of our existence here.

And you know, the other thing too that we tend to forget is that. We also are animals. We, you know, I call it, when I'm talking to clients, I'll say, you know, the animal body, but we are animals. We, you know, I think we were, we were sat at dinner and I was like, we we're sat here with knives and forks, but, but we're animals.

You know, we, we have to smell it a certain way. We, you know, we have to, we look at our, we notice, you know, our friend and how they're eating it, and if it looks tasty, then we eat it too.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: There's, there's so much there.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. Yeah. And, um, I love that. I, I do, uh, I really enjoyed our meal together and it almost well close to eating in nature because we were in a garden surrounded by trees and flowers. Um, and it sounds very idyllic. But it, it actually is [00:15:00] very real. So it's like both idyllic and real at the same time, and it's in a very vibrant neighborhood in Portland, but somehow it felt really tucked away and quiet.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um, so yeah, that experience is really kind of like when you say, you know, we are animals and, but as humans we kind of integrate that. The combination of animal experience and then human experience as well.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. Yeah. And it's fascinating too. You know, I, I'm a big dog person. I know you are too, and. Uh, nothing has taught me more about the animal body experience than my dogs. You know, this is my third dog. , I used to be involved with animal rescue in LA and would often find, I mean, sadly this is just the case in, in LA and maybe other places as well, you know, would find a dog chained up to a fence [00:16:00] and

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: the dog looked vicious and was, you know, showing teeth and just growling.

And, you know, I would just sit next to it and kind of wait for it to calm down, have it sense me, you know, have its nervous system, regulate a little bit, maybe give a a little bit of something, and then kind of look away and give a little, you know, basically using tools of somatic experiencing using those tools

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: to.

Calm the nervous system, establish safety in the body, and these are all things that exact same things that we have to do with humans. Those, that's what I'd use with my clients.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Is that part of how, um, integrity trauma practice work? Like, can you kind of just walk us through, you know, on a high level, how do you work with your clients [00:17:00] and what does integrated mean

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, integrative trauma practitioner really, I think, takes into account that you're gonna be using a lot of different modalities and so everybody, you know, you might meet five different integrative trauma practitioners and, and they'll have different specific things that they work with. And for me specifically, I really.

Have, um, a passion for somatic experiencing.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I have, um, I, I absolutely love breath work movement. Um, and, but, but there are other, there are other things that, that I incorporate, and that's the part that's integrative, right? It's, you know, sometimes with clients that I meet in person, we're doing nothing short of a journeying.

We're journeying into the body. And yes, there are [00:18:00] definitely components of somatics that we use in order to ground, to safety, in order to, you know, not overwhelm the system. But it's still, um, it's still very much like a, like, almost like a shamanic journeying experience, you know, where we're using energy and, um.

And, and working with it and, and moving it or, you know, rewriting stories, rewriting timelines. Um, and then as far as the physical body goes, I use fascial maneuvers, which is considered a type of, it's, it's a energy and body work, but, but pretty much it comes with the, uh, understanding that trauma lives in the body, in the fascia and fascia is, uh, a very, it's like a network that is all over the entire body.

[00:19:00] Kind of like I compare it to the bag of tangerines, that tangerines come in, that, that like netting. So that net is all over our body and that will carry not only our bad experiences, but our positive experiences as well.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: so what

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: part of what I do when I'm working with people who have had a traumatic incident is.

We're landing in these places where there's pain, because that's often how the body communicates with us, right? Is sensation. So if say that there's a, a pain in the shoulder, so we'll kind of work with the shoulder and we'll kind of maybe just sit with, we'll sit on a part that just feels very tight.

Like it'll never, ever break, you know, and we'll just, we'll just stay there. We're not trying to break it. We're not, we're just, we're just almost like giving the body, uh, a nod as if we're listening. We're, we're there, we're [00:20:00] listening, we're just, we're here with you. And, and typically what happens is that there's some kind of emotional response or emotional release and then, you know, that might be tears, it might be shaking, you know, it could be all kinds of things.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: There might be a story, a, you know, or a memory. Or something, or vision sometimes. And so then we'll kind of follow that. But we're doing all of that while we're also physically touching, um, or physically, you know, kind of applying pressure to, to this fascia,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: if that makes sense. I know it kind of can sound as I'm talking about it.

I know it can sound a little bit unusual if you're not used to it. So let me know if anything doesn't make sense.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It makes sense to me at least. I think when, like, um, think it's unusual [00:21:00] in a sense that a lot of, um, western medicine, it's not uh, our connections with each other. Uh, western medicine is usually, you know, machine and then lab tests and then prescription, uh, et cetera. It's not really in tune with, uh, patients or peoples, uh, say emotions or feelings and what's going on in the world. Um, it's pretty much just like, oh, you have a pain, let's treat your pain. So I feel it's unusual in a, in a sense that, um, it might be challenging for, uh, folks who are more familiar with me, Western medicine, but to me it makes sense because, you know, we have always done, um, acupuncture, you know, in China and a lot of places in Asia. Uh, I actually have an appointment [00:22:00] this afternoon for acupuncture. You know, that

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: need that gentle touch in order to sense where in your body needs that say the acupuncture points, right? Without touching, you won't be able to know. And, you know, growing up the way, um, doctors. Can, the way they tell, you know, whether or not you are unwell is they feel your pulse, right?

Like they put their hand on your wrist and they physically feel your pulse. And that's like a gentle touch. And , in western medicine you use a device to listen to the heart, which I think is also good, but then a device becomes the connector instead of human to human.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: so I,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. It's.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I don't think it's unusual.

Again, it's a different system. Um,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: are right. And to be honest with you, I didn't wanna do, [00:23:00] I didn't want to do any of this. This was not ever the original plan. You know, I was, uh, I was in the film industry for 20 years and the way that I got into this, the way that I discovered Peter Levine and Somatic experiencing was back when I was in a relationship, a very, , long-term relationship with a partner who woke up one day and had very severe, um, pain in his brain and basically, uh, was not well for two years and, and

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Wow.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: was, was pretty bed bound for a big part of that.

Right. And so. Uh, we went to every single doctor, did every single test, every hospital. And you know, I think the thing with Western medicine is that it's very much trying to put you in a box. And it makes sense because there are so many people and there are so many needs that that's kind of the way that they can be the most efficient.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: But the problem is, is that a lot [00:24:00] of people, uh, don't fit in a box. And so, you know, there it may also not be a box that really can be treated with Western me with drugs or with, you know, so this is, um, so after going to a whole lot of, uh, through a whole lot of testing, um, basically people couldn't figure out what was wrong with him.

And so this is where I started learning about somatics and how, uh, repressing and suppressing emotion could actually lead to some pretty. , Big symptoms in the body.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And so then that just continued and, uh, yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, I can definitely resonate with that. Um, I, I have been just going through a pretty extended kind of house [00:25:00] journey as well and, um, you know, going through kind of western medicine procedures, um, they are. Important because they find exactly what is causing the pain and then they treat it

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: they can see it through all the devices and very precise. And I think for me is what happens after that. Um, in Western medicine, I mothers can tell this story over and over is, um, they are expected to go back to work very quickly after giving birth. No, that's like a traumatic event. Can you imagine? It's, for me, my own experience is more or less similar.

I thought I will be able to recover just like, you know, [00:26:00] snap a finger and obviously I made a big mistake and. It, it's teaching me a lot, you know, what it means to really heal and, uh, recover from traumatic events. so I think what you share makes a lot of sense.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And, and by the way, traumatic, I know we're talking about trauma and, and typically the way people talk about it is, you know, it's referred to as capital T trauma where it's like events, right? Like really big events. Like I saw, you know, I witnessed nine 11 outside of my window. That's a traumatic event, right?

Trauma can be much. Simpler than that. It really is just anything that is like too fast, too sudden on the system. And again, going back to dogs, we see it all the time with them where they, you know, they get scared by a truck that drives by

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and they have a reaction and then they shake it off. They shake their entire body.

[00:27:00] Right. And we don't do that.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: so that stress response stays in our body,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: right. We haven't shaken it off. And, and then of course our society and the way we're set up right now is, is kind of lacking in, in real movement, you know, so we're sitting down for long hour, you know, long periods of the day, and we don't have that opportunity.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: You know what's a funny, I mean, maybe it's not funny, but I hadn't thought about that much before, is, um, karaoke

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: people love karaoke.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I wonder if that has anything to do with the healing

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: it does.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: you know.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It does it. Uh, this is the, the fascinating thing that I've come to learn and, and really I've, I've learned it through my own experience. The body finds a way. So [00:28:00] even if you, uh, you know, don't know about these things, like, um, you kind of find your way. I did the same thing when I was in high school.

I was, you know, there was a, there was a lot of stress at home and um, there was a lot of anger in my body and grief that I didn't realize at the time. And I would go into the city and I would go to these punk rock shows and. Run around and kind of like shake and dance and, you know, kind of express my anger and push people on the, on the, on the floor.

And it's really funny because I look back on that and I'm like, I was, I was really expressing I was getting it out of my body.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: So it's an incredibly, our bodies are very wise in the way that they find solutions and karaoke Absolutely. To [00:29:00] vocally express, you know,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: is

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: No, I can't believe I never thought of that. Sorry,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes. No, no. There's, and there's so many things like that too.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Can you give an example, you know, from your practice or just personal experiences? What other, uh, somatic or like bodily movement. And when you said you, you, you mentioned breath work and we talked about karaoke and singing, et cetera. What are the very tangible and, uh, accessible ways for people to find release, even if it's not like systemic, but just like, know, I'm stressed, I need a real release.

What can people do?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Well, it's fascinating. This is, um, I don't, I'm not sure if you're aware that I used to do a monthly movement event. It, it came, it, it had a bunch of different names and then I finally landed on Liberation Frequency and it's here in Portland and it [00:30:00] was a somatic movement journey basically. And this is exactly what we would do there and.

I would lead people through different states, uh, with the help of music and the help obviously of, you know, there were, there were props and yoga mats and there was a lot of space and walls, and we would go through, uh, periods of expressing grief, expressing rage. So, , a few of my favorite things, uh, uh, shaking is fantastic.

Shake is such a great thing, and you don't need to do it for long at all. Uh, the other thing is tapping, and that's something, you know, there's a wonderful book, uh, I forget the name of it, but, um, it shows different tapping techniques and different locations on the body, uh, depending on what symptoms you're feeling.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:31:00] But then there's also something as simple as if you're feeling really. Buzzy or there is an anger or a rage that's kind of suppressed. And, and I think we would be hard pressed to find somebody right now who's not feeling that way because of the amount of things that we're witnessing and seeing online.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: it's just bubbling and then we just have to press it down. 'cause we have to get about our day. Right. So one of the things that I really like doing is pushing against a wall with one foot in front of the other. So you're really pushing with all of your might and I'll tell the people in that journey movement, uh, workshop, just push as if you're pushing the wall down and really grit your teeth and, you know, snarl make sounds.

And then almost inevitably at the end there's, there's tears.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Wow.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: That's [00:32:00] really cool. I actually, we do that, uh, wall practice in yoga.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Oh, cool.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: yeah. My teacher would say, you know, find a wall. So we do that at home and my teacher would be like, find a wall. And, um, so she would guide us through different kind of movements. And this pushing is like becoming a table or like a square.

We do that for sure. I think that's mostly kind of like, um. the support you can find

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: to somehow strengthen something. And I don't know if that's exactly what like grief and anger really sees, but I feel having the physical support of a wall that actually is really important sometimes.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes. And, and it's not just, I mean, there's so much there as far as somatic, um, somatics goes. Uh, for example, if you're feeling very anxious, right? Or overwhelmed by [00:33:00] something. A very simple practice is just orienting to the space. Just looking around and just seeing if you can find five things that maybe you haven't looked at, like really looked at in your, in your room, right?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Just looking at those and then seeing if you can smell five things or, um, another practice I like is listening to the things in my room, and then can I hear what's outside of my apartment and then can I even challenge myself to hear what's a block away?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And then even further, can I hear the train that's on 11th Street, you know?

Um, and that in and of itself really tells the body you're safe. You're, you know, it's a very, it's a wonderful grounding practice.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And, and even beyond that, [00:34:00] you know, there, there can be people that are experiencing quite a lot of pain in their body. Like, um, I'll, I'll have somebody who maybe is experiencing a migraine, right?

So all of the focus is on their head and, and the pain in their head and maybe their ears and their neck,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: but we might orient to a different part of the body that's not having that experience at all. So maybe the thighs are feeling really neutral or good. They might be feeling, um, you know, soft and, and, and warm.

And, and so it's kind of like redirecting the attention there and, and showing that your whole system isn't actually feeling this pain. It's just this one part. And so we might use those, that thigh that feels really neutral or good. As a kind of way to , anchor back and forth

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:35:00] Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: part that's in pain

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: that makes sense

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It does make sense. And all the things you mentioned, like shaking and tapping, push against the wall and orient ourself in the space, as well as smiling and listening. I think those are all very approachable and practical. for me, I can easily see myself just paying attention to my own living room, you know? Uh, is there a new leaf on a plant? You know, just pay attention to what's happening surrounding us.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: to,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: in fact, even just looking at something that's, that you just don't have any need to look at, but really looking at it from a place of curiosity

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: because that kind of attention is the same. Energy that we use when we're talking to different parts of the body. So for example, uh, when I'm leading a client in and we're [00:36:00] going to the heart space, say that their heart is feeling quite heavy and we're with the heart, and then we, I might invite them to feel into the back of the heart.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It's very similar. It's, it's not like something that's gonna just come out and be like, this is the back of the heart. You know, you kind of have to sit there and be a little bit still and be a little bit curious. And I compare it to sitting on a park bench with your, with that body part and, and imagining that, that you're sitting with a dear friend who maybe has just lost somebody.

And you're not there to fix, you're not there to offer advice.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: just there to give them compassionate energy and like, Hey, if you wanna say something, I'm here. I'm here. And it's incredible how when you're able to really get to that place, the body talks, the body wants to communicate.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm. Yeah. And oftentimes we are [00:37:00] blocked somehow, um, just by all the grief and anger and stress in our day-to-day life.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um, that's wonderful. I'm going to make sure that I have a, know, pretty good show notes and make sure people can look at the advice and also really advocate for people to listen to this conversation because I really do think, there is a lot of like either, um, confusion or misunderstanding of, um, somatic work. a lot of people when, like people around me too, you know, usually when we talk about somatic work is like, go for a walk or do some yoga and do some stretches, go for hiking. Um, I think those are all very important, but I also just really want to address the significance of smaller movements and significance of these [00:38:00] kind of, um. that we can do basically any time we want. You just take three minutes and you can go do it.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. And even beyond, you know, physical, physical ailments. , I have been in therapy for many, many years and I will say that I know my issues inside and out. I can tell you the root cause of this or that, but there comes a point at which that, you know, I'll speak for myself where that level of, um, treatment,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: support, like at a certain point you do have to get the body involved.

You

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: you can understand everything intellectually,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: body is still carrying certain things. So, um, that's something that I find to be the case quite a bit, that people have worked with their therapist through, through certain things. Um.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I agree. Yeah, [00:39:00] it's like the mind body connection and no matter how much we learn about being mindful and being empathetic and compassionate and all that is mind and heart and important, but we cannot skip the body part.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: No. And especially right now, because we are in a very special place in life and what's occurring around us and, um, you know, systems are crumbling and, and at the same time we're being challenged in, in, in a really big way. Our bodies, our physical bodies are being challenged and we've been, you know, led down this road where, you know, we're all on our machines and this, that, the other.

But the whole point of this, at least for me, is can you feel enough safety in your body? Can you regulate enough so that you can go do. The, the social justice work so that you can do the thing in [00:40:00] your community so that you can, you know, that is the whole point of it.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah. I will really add that for folks out there who are very motivated to do more. Right. People who are saying, I need to show up to my community. I want to get in it. I think that's all great and and I want people to take care of themselves. Otherwise, you can go on for maybe two weeks or two months, whatever, a year maybe,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: but this is, this is not a quick thing,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Well, this is why it, honestly, uh, as a life coach, this is why I started having to take a somatic approach to things because you can actually really only do what your body and your nervous system is, has the capacity for. So [00:41:00] people would come in and they were wanting to do these big things, and of course we would work on the blocks and we would work on the belief systems.

But then there was that third part that was like, oh, there's, there's an, there's, you know, capacity.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I totally agree. And um, I want to go back to when we first talked about your practice is going back to the inner child, world and to help that inner child heal. I want to go back to it because I think that's where we all start. Um.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: has a unique childhood and not everything is sunshine daisy. , And for myself, I also went through this kind of like looking into my past, like what I went through as a child and how [00:42:00] I had to unknowingly, uh, parent myself as an adult, especially after leaving home. So I really want to kind of go back to the inner child healing practice that you help people do. Um, especially now, I feel a lot of people don't really have the capacity look back again in time think about, you know, what shaped them as the person they are now. Um, so can you share a little bit about

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: practice, you know, helping people heal that inner child?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, well the, it's interesting 'cause we were talking about misunderstandings and I think that there is this belief with a lot of people that they don't wanna go to certain places or they don't wanna talk about certain things because they'll be overwhelmed and maybe even overcome with [00:43:00] emotion and it'll be too much and somehow it'll take them down.

And it's not necessarily from the mind, but it's, it's kind of this contorted belief that, that, oh no, we can't touch that. It's gonna, it's gonna take us down. It'll, you know, we'll have to be institutionalized after we go there. Or I'll, I'll start crying and never stop. I hear that a lot. I'll start crying and never stop.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And, uh, so there is a certain degree of courage that is necessary to do this work. But I do think it's so essential, especially right now. And it's funny, you know, you say not every, everything is sunshine and rainbows. And I would probably, you know, go even a step further where most things are not sunshine and rainbows and, you know, most parents are doing the best they can maybe sometimes.

And, [00:44:00] and, and even then, mistakes are made and everybody is innocent really, because they may not know something. And how can you do something if you don't know, but who is in, who is in the perfect position to actually parent you in the exact way that you needed parenting? It's, it can only be you. , You're the one who has intimate knowledge of what you need, how you need to be spoken to, what is comforting to you.

You would like, what's, you know, what nourishes you.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: So I really am a huge proponent of this and it's quite interesting because I have quite a few clients that are parents

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and this process is actually helping them with parenting their own children,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm.[00:45:00]

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: having more compassion and maybe even relating to them.

You know, I have one particular client who, whose child was having a lot of temper tantrums and it was quite a difficult time

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and she would kind of tighten and get angry and frustrated, you know, naturally. So it's a lot to deal with. And I encouraged her to connect to her inner child and her inner child wanted to play and her inner child wanted to dance and her inner child wanted.

These expressions of joy amidst all of this frustration and anger. And so I offered up, you know, let's, let's do that. Try that. And so before bedtime, , she, with her inner child and her actual child did like a little bedtime, pre-B bedtime dance. And it was, it sounded incredibly sweet and the daughter loved it and she was, she loved it and she felt so nourished by [00:46:00] it

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: they had a different experience.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Huh. Wow. That is so, it's so simple, but it's not,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It's not well, but also this the big, yeah. I mean, I am one to overcomplicate things and I really love to get very deep with a lot of things that I study. And what I've come to learn now at this age is that it's really all about the simplest things. It's, it really is quite simple. But the, but because we over complicate, um, we kind of avoid the simple things or we bypass them, you know?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. Yeah. I think the simple thing isn't so simple. Once you went through the more sophisticated and philosophical route, I almost feel in order to go back to simple, we have to go deep first, and then that [00:47:00] simple is not so just shallow or hollow anymore.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: But the simple is like enriched. It just, it's, it's in a simplified form, but it's not simplistic.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And, and, you know, I mindfully chose to not have children. It's not something I wanted for myself. But I have really done a lot of work, inner child work, and it's essential to my journey, my healing journey. And it's interesting because now wherever I go, I fold her into things. You know, she's a part of everything.

She's a part of how I set things up. I make sure that I have playtime incorporated.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And, uh, a lot of the time that I spend with my dog is, uh, my inner child coming out to play. And to be honest, now, I, I, as I watch other [00:48:00] people with their dogs, I, I see the inner child in that moment. And so I can understand, I have a different understanding now of when a dog passes in somebody's life.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Why it's so significant,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: really hits so close. To the bone and, and people feel so crushed, more so than like losing a, a parent or a grandparent. Right. It's because this, this being was your inner child's, you know, connection and Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: is something very pure about

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I feel. Um, I'm not an animal expert. I don't really, know. too much into animal language, but I feel there is something very pure in our relationships with pets. You know, dogs, cats, a bird or even a turtle.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:49:00] Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: There's something very, um, again, simple but not simplistic.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: it's unconditional love and,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and it's also presence, you know. They're just there. They're looking at you and they're just with you, and they're with you during the good times and the bad times when you're alone and, and in your bed crying. There they are. I see you looking at your, you looking at your dog.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: He's in and his belly side up. He absolutely looks stupid. Um,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: He's the cutest thing in the world.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: but it's fine. And your trunk too.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. He's sleeping in the other room. But

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um, go

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: yeah. No, I, to your point, um,, i just wanted to add one thing to that. Um, we were talking about.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:50:00] unconditional love and be present and

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes. Okay. Thank you. Um, the way that animals are with us naturally

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: mm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: is, is a skill that I then teach people to of how to be with themselves. And 'cause what IT what I tend to find is that people are really harsh with themselves. There's a lot of internal dialogue that's incredibly tough and some, you know, borderline abusive, some, you know, sometimes,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Sure.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yes.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: not a single person that doesn't come through my practice that doesn't have some sort of feeling of, I'm not good enough, I'm too much, or, you know, something related to their worthiness.

And, and if you think about a dog. When you come [00:51:00] home, you are that dog's whole world and they're just so thrilled to see you.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: So how can we cultivate that energy with ourselves?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm. I mean, in the end it really is about that child who deserves and wants and needs love, and whether or not they get it. like you said, you know, how can we be with ourselves? 'cause at the end of the day. One can be surrounded by loved ones, but if we don't love ourselves, that kind of also feels, um, dis kind of disorienting too.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um, 'cause in, so, yeah. So I, I do agree. I think, you know, we talk about unconditional love from our pets and from our people, about unconditional love for ourselves?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: A hundred,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Like, [00:52:00] I love myself no matter what, like, how many people can say that?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: a hundred percent. And, and that's the tricky work because we all do things, you know, we're, we are innocent, but we are also flawed, we're human, right? And so we, things that we're not proud of or we say things that we're not proud of, or we react or we're triggered and, and those times can feel really ugly.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And we're, we feel unlovable in those moments. The practice is really, how can we love ourselves even then.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I have, speaking of inner child work, I have one client who, whenever we go back, we're going to a kind of a teenage, uh, you know, inner child.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And it's very difficult work because when you're a teenager, you're in this kind of awkward phase and you're doing lots of crappy things maybe, and you're, you're figuring things [00:53:00] out.

And so you're maybe not that likable and, and it's really difficult c cultivating that, uh, that love of care even for that child, you know, and that compassion, like, why does it make sense? Why does their behavior make sense and how can we love them? Even through that, you know, it's, it's fascinating work.

It really, it really is.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, I think it's very fascinating and if, if we can do that for ourselves

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: that's incredible 'cause we will be able to do so much good, um, for others if we can do that for ourselves.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah. And, and you know, to be honest with you, relationships, it's like, I, I think that we're, we're told, you know, we're, we're looking for our other half in this world. And,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: and I think a lot of people feel incomplete until they find their [00:54:00] soulmate, that person that completes them, and that somehow they'll be fixed or they'll feel better.

And really it's, again, having lived a life with lots of different relationships, I, I really know now that it's about making yourself as whole as you can.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And then finding somebody else who is as whole as they can be

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Exactly.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: those two holes together, and having the relationship be a place that actually, um, almost creates energy that each person can take and, and bring into their own lives to generate more goodness for themselves.

So it's like this, like, you know, that's in an ideal, in an ideal world.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, I love that analogy because the thing about finding my other half, it feels very scarcity. It's like, why do you, [00:55:00] why do you think yourself is a half? Like,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: you know, I feel that idea is flawed and I think it's very scarcity mindset, and I feel if we can consider ourselves. As we are, we are a whole person, when we meet someone, it's another whole person

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: that's more abundant.

Right. Then you have two whole people and Yeah. I, yeah.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: that's, that's really where this inner child work comes in. Because oftentimes what we're doing when we're looking for that other half is we're looking for somebody that's going to love us in that exact special way that will resonate with us. So they'll see us, they'll see us in that special way, they'll validate us in a special way, , but the problem with that is that, uh, that love can change or that way of them seeing us or, you know,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: as you know, from being in a long-term relationship, you know, it can, the dynamic can change and.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: definitely.[00:56:00]

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: And, and then you feel dropped if you are not doing that work for yourself.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, definitely. I think the thing about working on ourselves is it almost feels like I can't take a day off without working on myself. It's like, no, don't.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, I mean, you're right. The process does feel never ending because it's rich like life. Like you can work on something and then it opens it up to something else and, and it opens it up to something else. And I, I honestly see that part as a privilege because to be able to get to that place where you see the next thing, ooh, that's, that's

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: agree.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: a badge of honor because it means that you just went through, um, quite a tunnel.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm. Mm, I totally agree. That's so powerful. Um, so earlier you mentioned, um. As we kind of wrap up our [00:57:00] conversation today. Earlier you mentioned, uh, liberation frequency. That's, uh, a service or a community kind of, um, effort you make in addition to your coaching services. And I know you are also going to host a retreat. Uh, can you tell people about the retreat, uh, real quick and also how can people learn more about it and find you?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Okay, great. Thank you for bringing that up.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: So it's fascinating. We were talking about that tunnel, and that really is what this retreat is about. It's called Portal to Be Coming and it is a three day retreat in Sedona. With days on either side for travel, so five days total, but three days really in workshop.

And we are, we are meeting with people who are [00:58:00] in that place of not being who they were, but not yet being who they are stepping into. So it's this very awkward kind of middle place. I call it the becoming, uh, I know it very, uh, intimately because as I look back, again, as I look back on my life, I know these parts, these, I can almost see them, these little chunks where I, I could feel that there was something more, there was something more that I was meant to do or meant to be, but I was still kind of stuck in the restrictions of the old me.

But I was also being pushed out of that life in some way as well. And so it can be a very lonely experience,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: uh, because it is so unique and so personal. And I really wanted to set this retreat up for people to get together

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: [00:59:00] and be in this experience together. And so we're gonna be working with somatic, um, all kinds of somatic practices as well as ritual ceremony, really old, um, , practices in order to move through anger to let go of whatever it is that was kind of tying them to their old being and then claiming whatever that new thing is.

Because I think a huge misunderstanding, and I know that I had this misunderstanding myself, is that something's just gonna fall out of the sky. And then you'll know, like, you know, I, for, as I said, for a long time I was in the film industry and for probably the last 10 years of it, I knew I needed to get out of it, right?

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Mm-hmm.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: It was, it was [01:00:00] incredibly taxing on the body and the mind, and it wasn't really in alignment with who I was becoming. Um, but I didn't know what to do and I had this thought that, that, oh, one day I'll just know something will, will, you know, strike in my mind and I'll just know. And that's really not how it is.

It's more about a claiming and a giving yourself permission,

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: going for it, and then doing the thing. So I really see this retreat as an activation of sort. Where you are bolstered. It's not, you know, it's obviously I am the coach. It's one-on-one coaching with me, but then it's also the other cohorts in the group.

And being supported by them and feeling them bolstering you in the process, being witnessed, witnessing others, um, through that as well, and then coming home and, , I, I just see it as an [01:01:00] incredibly transformative experience. I'm a big fan of retreats. I've gone on a lot of retreats myself, and it's something, you know, whether or not I keep talking to the people

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Hmm

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: from the groups I've been in, they, they stay with me.

It's a very powerful experience that we don't get in this modern day, you know, being in a circle with women. My, my event is also open to non-binary folks and, and femmes. Um, but it's, you know, obviously centered in the, in the woman experience. So

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Gotcha. Gotcha. you. And is there a website or a place or some contact information where you can share?

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: yeah, so probably the best way is just to reach out to me. I do have a website for the retreat, but uh, the retreat center is very private and they don't like their photos posted online, [01:02:00] so it's a password protected website. So they can either come to my Instagram, which is golden patty cakes, or email, uh, patty works@me.com or they can text me and I can give you all of my contact information to

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: I think Instagram and email will be great, so I will share that in the show notes.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Thank you.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Thank you so much for coming and sharing. It's so wonderful to hear you talk about your practice and also, you know, weaving with so much personal experiences as well.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: You are so special to talk to. I have to say, I love talking to you. I feel like we could sit down and talk for weeks and weeks on end and there would be no end because you are so curious and you're so interested and interesting that it just keeps, I mean, really this was, this has been such a pleasure.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Okay. [01:03:00] Yeah, maybe if we sit down under a tree and talk to each other, we can, you know,

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: We

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: one of the greats.

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: we can, we can just figure out this whole thing. Yeah.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Um, thank you so much, Patty. It's been very special. Thank you very

patti--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: You are so special. Thank you. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you.

zhou--she-her-_1_09-30-2025_110738: Yeah, me as well. Um, and with that, I'm going to stop here.